Until the beginning of last week I hadn’t picked up a book in over two months, it had been the longest time I had gone without reading since I first got on the I-love-reading-train. So now I want to talk about why the hell happened. Why do people fall into reading slumps? Why do book bloggers in particular suddenly not feel in the mood to do one of their favourite things?
It would be very easy for me to simply blame the my reading slump on a busy life, but apart from the fact I’d be a pretty big stretch to try and say I was busy for two full months straight, it’d be a bold faced lie as I had ample opportunity to read. For two months every train ride to and from uni (an hour each way) I carried In The Afterlight (The Darkest Minds #3) by Alexandra Bracken in my bag with me and not once cracked it open. I really wanted to read it and just never started. Instead opting to listen to music and star out the window and be bored. I CHOOSE TO BE BORED OVER READING. Why???? Also, to add to the weirdness, I have binged watched five different shows in the last two months – yes FIVE. A whole 6 seasons of Modern Family, 3 seasons of Orange is the New Black, 2 seasons of Brookyln Nine-Nine, and the first seasons of Daredevil and Sense8. All of that coming to a whopping 155 hours (according to bingewatch.com) of my life in the last two months spent mindlessly watching my laptop screen. That turns into just under 6 and a half days straight watching shit on my laptop. I could have been spending those 155 hours reading but again I chose not to be.
So why did I chose to do this?? Someone please explain it! Is it a frame of mind? An emotion? Nothing interesting to read? I can’t see it being a frame of mind, I’ve never had to pump myself up to start reading. And I totally rule out nothing interesting to read, I carried around In The Afterlight for two months and I really wanted to read that. But could it be an emotion? I wasn’t emotionally ready to start reading. That sounds so dumb, but it kind of rings true to me.
In case you didn’t know I’m a psych student and one of the areas of study we covered this semester is the continuum to impairment, a continuum which suggests prolonged exposure to stress can lead to distress, burnout and then eventually impairment. I kind of think that’s what may have happened to me. When I started to really not be interested in reading was around the time all my assignments in school were starting to be due, we were in the middle of moving, I’d agreed to do Bookish people, and on top of all that I had books to read and review. Maybe all this built up and lead to burnout and impairment and unconsciously to save myself some stress I stopped being interested in reading, to mentally better myself for things out side of reading and blogging.
Blogging has changed reading for me, it once was something I did in my spare time 110% because that’s what I wanted to be doing, now I sometimes feel that’s it 80% because I want to and 20% because I have to post a review on schedule. Which is a ridiculous stressor to put on myself, no one actually cares how often you update the blog except me, no one’s putting any pressure on me except me. So maybe that’s why my reading slump went for so abnormally long. I unconsciously didn’t want to get back to it because it kind of stressed me out.
Okay this got deeper for me then I meant, I guess for here on out I’ll try to go back to viewing reading as a relaxer and not put any added pressure on myself. Blogging about the books I read is something I like to do, I don’t want it to become something I feel like I have to do and resent it. That’d take all the special out of reading and I’d never want that. I have to remember for now on out that I read for me and not for the blog.